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Bad Lyric of the Week: Albert Hammond Jr.

"After all, I'm not with you/And I know the trees go back below/High as we fly one more time/I'm not beneath the wind"
--Albert Hammond Jr.'s 'The Boss Americana,' from 2008's '¿Cómo Te Llama?'

Wait ... what? Ten bucks says he wrote this using those poetry refrigerator magnets.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Katy Perry

"I wanna be a flower, not a dirty weed/I wanna smell like roses, not a baseball team"
--Katy Perry's 'One of the Boys,' from 2008's 'One of the Boys'

1. "Weed" doesn't rhyme with "team."
2. Other than a baseball team, nothing smells "like a baseball team."
3. Even my 11-year-old sister is insulted by your generic metaphors.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Lil Wayne

"I'm a venereal disease like a menstrual bleed/Threw the pencil and leak the sheet of the tablet in my mind"
--Lil Wayne's 'A Millie,' from 2008's 'Tha Carter III'

And the award for "Most Unnecessarily Disgusting Hip-Hop Simile" goes to ...

Bad Lyric of the Week: Kate Nash

"You said I must eat so many lemons/'Cause I am so bitter"
--Kate Nash's 'Foundations,' from 2007's 'Made of Bricks'

I know they're called "Limeys," but don't they have lemons in England, too? Sour, dear. Lemons are sour.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Sigur Ros

"Engin gúmmístígvél/Hlaupandi inn í okkur/Vill springa út úr skel"
--Sigur Rós' 'Hoppípolla,' from 2005's 'Takk ...'

Oh, right, that's nice and original. Who doesn't have rubber boots running inside of them? If you're gonna rehash that old line, you could at least make it rhyme.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Cut Copy

"Lights and music are on my mind/Be my baby one more time"
--Cut Copy's 'Lights and Music,' from 2008's 'In Ghost Colours'

Dancing right over the border between "simple" and "simplistic," these Aussies deliver the most insipid couplet of the 1980s ... in 2008.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Coldplay

"When the future's architectured/By a carnival of idiots on show"
--Coldplay's 'Violet Hill,' from 2008's 'Vida la Vida'

We love you, Chris, but no one who thinks "architecture" is a verb should be throwing "idiot" around too lightly.

Bad Lyric of the Week: Adam Green

"Oh, her lips taste just like sunk ships/But her breasts taste just like breakfast"
--Adam Green's 'Carolina,' from 2005's 'Gemstones'

There's probably some deeper meaning at work, but the bottom line is I won't be eating pancakes for a while.

Bad Lyric of the Week: My Morning Jacket

"It's all the same, we're tired of waiting, come on, then/And dedicate your love to any woman or man"
--My Morning Jacket's 'Evil Urges,' from 2008's 'Evil Urges'

Jim James, man-whore? That kind of behavior is why the 1970s were known as the Herpes Decade, buddy.

"Push the fader gifted animator/One for the now and eleven for the later"
--Red Hot Chili Peppers' 'Dani California,' from 2006's 'Stadium Arcadium'

Not to be a hater, but your lyrics could be ... uh, greater.

Bad Lyric of the Week: John Mayer

"One day our generation/Is gonna rule the population"
-- John Mayer's 'Waiting for the World to Change,' from 2006's 'Continuum'

Does this mean serial-dating starlets is just Phase One in Mayer's evil plan for global domination?

Bad Lyric of the Week: Silversun Pickups

"Come join in the last hurrah/With open sores and open jaw"
-- Silversun Pickups' 'Well Thought Out Twinkles,' from 2006's 'Carnavas'

Apocalyptic indie-rock gibberish, or just a typical Tuesday night in Eliot Spitzer's hotel room?

Bad Lyric of the Week: R.E.M.

"'Cause if heaven does exist/With a kickin' playlist"
-- R.E.M.'s 'DJ at the End of the World,' from 2008's 'Accelerate'

"Kickin'"? Michael, you're 48 years old. Don't fight it. This is like hearing your dad say something is "tight."

Bad Lyric of the Week: Fall Out Boy

"We take sour sips from life's lush lips/And we shake shake shake the hips in relationships"
-- Fall Out Boy's 'The Carpal Tunnel of Love,' from 2007's 'Infinity on High'

Give Pete Wentz credit for coming up with lots of rhymes for "sips," but ... wow. If his wedding vows even remotely resemble these lines, Ashlee might just say, "I don't."

Bad Lyric of the Week: Beastie Boys

"Everybody's rappin' like it's a commercial/Acting like life is a big commercial"
-- Beastie Boys' 'Pass the Mic,' from 1992's 'Check Your Head'

Mike D rhymed a word with itself/Rappers shouldn't rhyme a word with itself.

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